Living With Intention

 Living life with intention and meaning. It is a concept that has been weighing on my mind and heart recently. I have struggled with severe (though manageable) depression most of my teen and adult life, and recently I have allowed that depression and despair to completely take over my life. It is a vicious cycle that spirals ever downward. I feel trapped in the situation I am in, living in a tiny bedroom in my family home, surrounded by noise, chaos, disorganization, and clutter. In that depression I have allowed my space and my appearance to reflect the emptiness and despair I feel in my heart. My room is dirty and cluttered, and I have been in either my PJ's or work clothes for months. I have not been attentive to my health, consuming junkfood and fastfood because it is easy, and I don't have to fight over the kitchen with the rest of the family. I feel gross and lazy, and therefore I sink further down the spiral. 

Then my mom found some videos on YouTube about quiet/simple/slow living, and through that I have discovered that I am not alone in my need for peace, quiet, and solitude. I am an introvert, and I am very hypersensitive to sounds, clutter, and chaos. Something they all spoke of was living with intention, and making a place they can retreat to and decompress. 

As this new year begins, I would like to consider some small goals to help myself break free of this downward spiral I have been caught up in, and maybe they will also help me find my way to that quiet place that I need. 

Living With Intention - Goals for 2021

1. Focus on health - Reduce fast food, processed foods, sugar and carbs. Make lunches for work, and eat as much homemade and whole, fresh food as financially possible.
2. Become more active - Camping, nature walks, fishing. Whatever it takes to spend more time in nature, during this depression, I have completely lost my connection to nature.
3. Reduce clutter and belongings - Only keep what is necessary or what brings me joy. The more clutter I have around me, the more claustrophobic and anxious I become. 
4. Reduce time spent on electronics - I am a gamer, but it is easy to allow that to become my escape instead of just a hobby. 
5. Build a space that brings peace - Having a place I can get away, from the noise and the chaos, a place that brings out my creativity and inspires me. 
6. Practice herbalism, gardening, and husbandry - I have always felt a connection to the earth, and love to make thing grow and prosper. I love to surround myself with plants and animals. 
7. Wise spending habits - Reduce the money spent on fast food, temporary pleasures, and frivolous things. Save money, pay off debts, and invest in things that benefit a long term goal or add to my peace.